From the Blogcontact me

SnapChat. Photo Sharing or Sexting?

Posted on January 23, 2013 // Leave a Comment

snapchatI came across the increasing popular app, SnapChat a few weeks ago. I know of a few teenagers who have the app on their phone and use it often. I decided to check it out myself and quickly came to the conclusion that this could be dangerous if abused.

The app is essentially a photo sharing tool. You snap an image, then you set a timer, and send it. The person on the other end has a few seconds to view your photo and then it disappears, forever (unless you have an iPhone and have a quick draw to screen shot)

When I’ve seen it used it has been entirely all for fun. Like sending goofy pictures back in forth of contorted faces or seeing who can make the ugliest face knowing it will soon disappear from your friend’s phone. Sounds fun, huh? It is, but it can easily be misused.

Parents should be informed about the misuses of this ever popular app. The issue of “sexting” (where people send inappropriate images of themselves) is real and many teenagers have participated.   This raises the question of how parents deal with, not only cell phones, but technology in general. Later this spring I plan on doing a student teaching series that deals directly with our relationship with technology. We live in a new digital world and our children need help navigating through it. I think it’s great that teenagers can share photos and there are plenty of photo sharing tools out there. I’d recommend Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. All of these allow users to share images to their friends. That being said, I believe a parent should have access to these social media sites too. You may not need their password but you at least need to see what your child is posting. Maybe it’s time for you to join the world of social media if you haven’t already!

 

The Today Show story on SnapChat:

http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50068553#50068553

 

Want to read more?

Here a few other youth workers who have written about this topic:

http://adammclane.com/2013/01/23/snapchat/

http://theyouthcartel.com/products/a-parents-guide-to-understanding-social-media/

 

Filed Under: family, parent ministry, student ministry //

5 similarities between Jesus and Santa

Posted on December 12, 2012 // Leave a Comment

Believe it or not there are a few similarities between Jesus and Santa. I don’t mean to open up a can of worms here. Everyone has their opinions about Santa. Should  we do the Santa thing with our kids or not? When should we tell them the truth?

Everyone has their opinions about Jesus too…

We usually don’t use Jesus and Santa in the same sentence. It’s considered sacrilegious to some. However, I think there are a few similarities between Jesus and Santa.

#1 Both come to us. 

Think about it.

Santa doesn’t ask all the children of the world to make the pilgrimage to the distant land of the North Pole. You’ve see the place in the movies right? Santa’s workshop is located in unapproachable terrain with horrible weather conditions. There’s no way a child could make it alive! Thankfully, Santa leaves this whimsical kingdom full of Christmas cheer and little elves and comes to us. He enters our world!

Jesus did the same. Jesus chose to leave his heavenly home to come to earth. He didn’t ask us to come to where he was, he came to where we are. This is one of the amazing things about Christmas. God came to earth as the God-man, Jesus!

By the way, we are to do the same thing.  We can learn a lot from Santa and Jesus on what it means to be on mission. Instead of waiting for people to come to where you are, to visit your church (which often feels like another world for the unreached), or for your neighbor to randomly knock on your door and strike up a spiritual conversation, how about you go where they are? Aren’t you glad Jesus came to you?

Selah

#2 Both love children

Let’s be honest. Christmas is magical for little children. They go nuts over Santa. Have you ever been to the mall and seen the line to visit Santa? And Santa sits there for hours listening to their dreams and wants.

Jesus was the same way. He loved children. He rebuked the disciples for trying to push them away. He made time for them and I’d imagine there were probably times when Jesus had children sitting on his lap telling Him their dreams and wants.  There’s something special about the faith of a child. That’s why Jesus said unless you come to me like a little child you will not enter the kingdom of God (Matt 18:3). He also said the one who welcomes a child welcomes me.

What is your attitude towards children? What are you doing to invest in the next generation? Don’t push them away.

#3 Both bring gifts

The gifts of Jesus are obviously better since they don’t depend on being naughty or nice! And the gifts that Jesus brings are eternal whereas Santa’s will eventually go to waste.  If you have children, ask them if they can recall what they received last year at Christmas. Chances are they won’t be able to recall much. Be sure to spend some time this year giving them things that matter. One way to do this is to think of experiences rather than gifts. We are more apt to remember an experience than a gift this time next year anyway.

#4 Both had beards

Isaiah 50:6

#5 Both have a heart for the world. 

Aren’t you glad that Santa doesn’t just choose one continent, one country, or one people group? He loves the world. I remember growing up being amazed that (1) Santa could fit in my chimney and (2) he cared for every boy and girl around the world and would visit them too! I’m grateful that Jesus loves the whole world too (John 3:16). Jesus has a desire to reach every man, woman, boy, and girl.

If you’re comfortable with this list, I suggest using some of these similarities as talking points with your children this Christmas. You can obviously expand greatly on the points above. Or perhaps you can think of other similarities and/or differences. I could think of a few more similarities (ie. they both have detailed lists of names…that’s a little creepy),  but I like the number five so I decided to stop there. Can you think of others?

Merry Christmas!

Filed Under: family, parent ministry // Tagged: ,

Thanksgiving Tree

Posted on November 19, 2012 // Leave a Comment

Image

Over the past few weeks our family has been working on our Thanksgiving tree. It’s a tree where we all take a leaf and write one thing that we are thankful for. So far we all have about 8 leaves displayed. This was all my wife’s idea and my guess is she had inspiration from Pintrest (the mother of all crafts). It’s been so much fun doing this as a family and hearing each person describe what they are thankful for. The other night at dinner it was Addyson’s turn to pray. It was a little surprising since she always votes for her big brother to take the lead instead. Anyway, she began to pray. There’s absolutely nothing more beautiful than hearing a 4 year old pray. She thanked God for her clothes, her house, the things in the house, her family, her tinker-bell socks and then she said she was thankful for the Thanksgiving tree. Lynsi and I peeked at each other and smiled.

Later that night I was thinking about how sincere and authentic Addy’s prayer was. I think she is genuinely thankful for these things. Things that she values and that I often overlook.

Our thankfulness is linked to what we value.

Have you ever recieved a ridicously unexpected expensive gift? Usually we respond with tremendous gratitude. It’s because what we recieved was valuable to us which, in return, caused us to respond with thankfulness.

In Romans 1 Paul describes some of the signs of human depravity and sinfulness. In verse 21 Paul puts it this way, 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Wow, this verse says that our thankfulness (or lack of it) is linked to how we respond to God.  This is because our thankfulness is linked to what we value. If we do not place ultimate value on God then we lack thankfulness. The opposite is also true.  If we value God above all else then we should be the most thankful people on the planet!

It’s all about perspective.

For example, you can choose to value the people in your life or not. You can choose to see people around you as threats, obstacles, annoying or you can see people in your life as valuable.  If we see the people in our lives as created in the image of God and filled with intrinsic worth and value then we’ll be thankful for every relationship in our life.

As we enter this Thanksgiving week, take some time to think about the things that you value. Hopefully we are placing value on the right things.

Filed Under: family, parent ministry, personal, Uncategorized //

Sometimes GO means STAY.

Posted on May 23, 2012 // 4 Comments

This summer is shaping up to be quite eventful. Over the past few months I’ve been making plans for children’s camp, VBS, student camp and a mission trip to Colombia. These events alone had already blocked out 4 weeks of my summer. These don’t include the week to week activities and other “family ministry events” I plan to do over the next two months with our church. Last week I had to make a tough decision. I’ve chosen not to go on a mission trip this summer. This was difficult because we have some exciting things that will happen in Colombia, including a training event for 500 young Colombian students on how to lead I Am Second groups. I have such a heart for missions and I wish I could see some of these things take place first hand. However, I had this thought last week that was comforting and convicting…. “Sometimes GO means STAY.” Jesus said, “GO and make disciples…” This obviously includes foreign missions. But sometimes people are ecstatic to GO across the world, but are much less eager to GO across the street and even less excited to GO and spend quality time discipling their children.

In this season of life I feel like it would be better to put my focus on HOME. This includes my family and the ministry at Firewheel Church. Thankfully I wasn’t leading the trip and there will also be another Firewheel Pastor who will be attending.  One thing I know after 9 years of ministry is that there is always more to do than you have time available. One of my ministry hero’s is Andy Stanley from North Point in Atlanta. Andy wrote a book called, Choosing to Cheat a few years ago. The premise of the book is when church and family collide don’t cheat your family! This principle is easier said than done. Sometimes fires must be put out, a grieving family must be comforted, and some things must get done. However, the reality is that ministry can (and will) consume you if you allow it. This isn’t just limited to ministry but can also be translated into any work environment.

The battle for your child’s heart is hard enough. Be sure you are intentional at spending quality time with your children this summer. After all, if you are a parent, your primary mission field is your family anyway. Many see summer as a time to vacate but many times GO means STAY. I’m not saying not to do anything this summer. Maybe your family desperately needs a vacation. Go for it!  But no matter what you do I’d encourage you to find the time to BE PRESENT!

Filed Under: family, Firewheel Church, I am Second, leadership, missions, parent ministry, Uncategorized //

Why so many churches are in decline

Posted on April 26, 2012 // 1 Comment

There are many reasons why many churches are on the decline. Reasons include the increasing post-christian culture, churches who have not been able to effectively reach their communities, churches who are too slow to change to adapt to our rapidly changing world, etc. However, I think the number one reason why so many churches are in decline is due to a “man crisis.” We simply don’t have enough men leading in our churches. The statistics reflect this reality.  It is usually the women who initiate getting their family to church. It is predominately women who rise to the occasion when asked (60% of church volunteers are women).

We have a serious man crisis. I’ve read many books that are addressing the reality that men are extending their adolescence. No longer can we call a boy a man when he turns 18. He may not be a “man” until his late 20′s or 30′s!!  This has many implications for student ministry in churches, including why so many young adults are leaving the church after high school, but that’s another post for another time.

In 1970, 69% of 25 yr old men and 85% of 30 yr old men were married. In the year 2000, 33% of 25 yr old men and 58% of 30 yr old were married.* These numbers are only increasing. Men are not living up to their God given responsibilities to lead. This is true in the workforce, government, communities, families and the especially the church. I think this is one of the major reasons why churches are suffering. We don’t have men leading. Now there are probably many reasons for this: Increasing divorce rates where young boys haven’t seen biblical manhood modeled (I read just this morning that less than 50% of US homes are led by married couples), churches who haven’t invested in younger leaders and giving them significant responsibility, and dads not understanding their role in the home and the church. I recently came across this video by Darren Patrick who addresses this issue specifically in the church. He’s calling for more men, not boys to lead our churches. I think his message needs to be heard:

*Hymowitz, “Child-Man in the Promised Land.”

Patrick, Darrin (2010-08-12). Church Planter (p. 18). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition.

Filed Under: discipleship, family, Firewheel Church, leadership, parent ministry, student ministry, Uncategorized // Tagged: , ,

The Origin of Sunday School

Posted on December 12, 2011 // 1 Comment

Does your church have Sunday School? Most do. Some have tried to creatively change the name of Sunday school to things like Life Stage classes, ABF’s (Adult Bible Fellowship),  Growth groups, etc. Then we have the cute children’s ministry names along with the hip student ministry names. All of these are age segregated times of bible teaching..aka modern day Sunday school.. There has been a lot of talk recently  (in church world) about the overall effectiveness of these age groups in the spiritual formation of children and youth.

Have you ever wondered about the origin of the Sunday school model?  Did the early church have a “sunday school” hour for the kids prior to the Apostle’s teaching?

Many consider Robert Raikes (1736-1811) as the father of the modern Sunday school movement.

Raikes observed how children would fill the streets in England and would often find themselves getting into trouble by the authorities. He described the parents of these children as those who had “no idea of instilling into the minds of their children principles to which they themselves are entire strangers.” However, rather than seeking to reform the parents, Raikes focused on educating the children by  placing educators into their life. Thus began the modern Sunday School movement.  It was out of this genuine concern that he decided to act and wanted to have a place for these young kids to be safe and he thought education was the key. Raikes began meeting with these kids on Sunday mornings for 2 hours and used the Bible as the text book. His first goal was for the children to learn to read and then catechism.  Although Raike’s intentions were pure his model eventually made its way to the church building where parents relinquished their responsibility and relied on the church to teach their children the bible.

As noted above, Raikes influence is still seen in almost every evangelical church in America. Although Raike’s intention was to create an outreach to underprivileged children, his Sunday school model has morphed into something which can rip apart the familial fabric of discipleship.

I’m not suggesting that age separation should never occur in the church. We have a Sunday school model at my church and there are some great things that occur during that hour.  My concern is the already disengaged, unmotivated father who doesn’t know how to lead his wife and family and he probably won’t as long as the church provides a crutch. I digress..

The truth is that we need balance. I’m not sure what all the answers are, all I know is that something is broken and I want to help fix it.

Filed Under: family, Firewheel Church, parent ministry, Uncategorized // Tagged: , ,

Raising Kids in Today’s Modern Culture- Learning to Take Responsibility

Posted on November 18, 2011 // 2 Comments

Last Sunday I taught a parenting class about,  ”How to Raise Kids in Today’s Modern Culture.” I thought I would put a few thoughts here from the class. We talked about a lot of things, but here is the first of seven points from the class.  The first question we must ask as parents is this: Is what you are doing as a parent being done on purpose?

I think for many of us we “parent” without thinking or we parent from our own personality, our own childhood or we parent from the need of the moment. In short, we do what we do just keep our heads above water. Our fast paced culture doesn’t help! We seem to be constantly on the move and we struggle to find that sustainable pace.

The problem is that parenting has much more to do with the future than maintaining the present. 

Whether we are intentional or not we are preparing our children for the future. But to what future?

Our Aim as Parents::::Learning to take responsibility 

How many of you have difficulty in having your kids take responsibility? In cleaning their room? Picking up their clothes? Doing their homework?

Lynsi and I deal with this when it comes to trying to get Aden to clean his room.

He does not feel the need to clean up. We feel that need. 

He does not feel motivated to clean up. We feel motivated. 

He does not plan for or take the time to clean up. We do. 

He does not have the skill to organize. We do. 

There must be a slow transfer of these qualities from the outside Aden to the inside. Whereas his parents possess all the qualities inside, Aden does not.

We need to take what was once external to become internal.

We want Aden to “own” the same things we value as parents. When kids begin to internalize the external restraints and values of their parents they begin to take responsibility and build character.

Filed Under: family, Firewheel Church, parent ministry, student ministry //

New Student Series: The Great Banquet

Posted on October 12, 2011 // Leave a Comment

Bottom Line: The kingdom of God is the most important thing and if we aren’t careful we might miss it.  

Series Overview (begins this Sunday, October 16th, at 9:30am) 

Stories are powerful. They can change our point of view, convince us of the importance of a message and inspire us to change our lives, simply by sharing a piece of someone’s journey. When Jesus told stories, there was always a point that needed to be heard. And, often, the point wasn’t something that would naturally be the most well-received and welcomed. But Jesus kept on telling them, because He had an important message to relay. And that was the message of the kingdom of God. Jesus knows that the things in our life can sometimes take the place of the most important thing—our invitation to participate in the great story of God’s kingdom.

Parents, be a student of your student. We are busy. It seems to be a growing cultural phenomenon. The word “stress” is often on the lips of our friends, co-workers and neighbors. And for those of us who are the parents of teenagers, it’s also a word we often hear from our own kids. Students, especially junior high and high school students, are overbooked, overworked and overdrawn on their energy reserves.

As Chap Clark writes in Hurt 2.0:

Certainly they are tired, and many are angry. Both of these, however, are but symptoms of a deeper threat to their well-being and ultimately to their ability to progress through midadolescence. (Midadolescence is the in-between stage that young people go through where they are no longer children but are not quite ready to launch into adulthood. The age range of midadolescence can be between 14 to 20 years of age. Midadolescents are characterized by egocentric abstraction, which is the idea that they filter most of life through the lens of how what they experience, see and do effects them, first and foremost) At the core, they long for the safety and freedom of childhood and have no clear vision concerning what adulthood will be like. As a result of the abandonment they have faced throughout their lives, most midadolescents carry inside them a powerful defense mechanism that keeps them running as fast and as hard as they can. They know no other way to cope with life. The quicker they move, the less vulnerable they are to ridicule, critique, or even examination. Midadolescents know they must put on a mask of confidence, even arrogance, or they will be chewed up by those who would find them out. May we, the adults who love and care for them, not be fooled. They are busy, yes, and stressed, but they want someone to demonstrate in word and action, ‘You matter to me’ (140).  

So what does that mean for those of us who are invested in the lives of teens? Does it mean we clear their schedules and make every night mandatory family night? You could try it, but it probably won’t go over well. What it might mean though is that we help our students weed through what is important and what is just mental and physical chatter in their lives. Help them navigate the world of schedules, agendas and itineraries now to set them up for being successful boundary-setters later.

How to Engage your student this week.

We all have deadlines, activities, to-do lists and responsibilities vying for our attention and pressing in on us from all sides. Whether it’s the deadline for the project our boss gave us last minute or the deadline of an AP History test that keeps creeping closer and closer, deadlines loom over our ever-busy lives and we feel the weight of their presence. So, what are the things competing for your attention right now?

Take some time to talk with your child about your own deadlines and to ask them about theirs. Help them understand the process of how you prioritize your time so that they can begin to understand the need to prioritize theirs as well. And this doesn’t just mean fitting their ever-bulging schedule into a well-planned out and over-burdened week. This means helping your student (and yourself) evaluate what is most important and what may need to be scaled back. As you talk, help your student visualize the idea of prioritizing by writing out a calendar with them and blocking out sections of time for things like rest, play, family time, friend time, etc. And if as you talk, you realize that you may need to do some reprioritizing too, it might be a good chance for you to write out a new calendar of your own with some input from your teenager. Ask your student how they think you are doing with prioritizing your time. Where do they think you might need to cut back?

Filed Under: family, Firewheel Church, parent ministry, student ministry, Uncategorized //